Modello Curriculum Europeo

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Let’s take the examples where it becomes unavoidable to take loans. Who does not want to make his/her house look beautiful from the inside and from the outside? Renovation and refurbishment of the house has to be done after some years and not all the people have enough money to do that.The big costs of renovating the house cannot be afforded from the pocket of a person outright. In this scenario, you have to take loans because if you don’t,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the impacts of the weather can result in making a house unstable and unreliable to live. With Loans Express,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can take the loans for renovating your house and you don’t even have to worry about the credit score. Even if you don’t have a good credit score or not one at all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can still get loans for making your house look like new. The great benefit of getting loans from Loans Express is that you can obtain unsecured loans so your risks are lower.
By MICHAEL BRESCIANI
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Many people have debts that they have incurred while trying to keep things in order and their families safe.No one can say that getting loans or buying things on credit is a bad thing to do because every once in a while,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you reach a point where you need something important for your house but you don’t have the money to buy it. In such scenario,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], services such as Loans Express help the people in getting out from the debt.You will always find several companies and firms that are providing the services of arranging loans for you for different purposes but not all of them can meet your requirements. Some companies are making claims to help you in all possible ways but their own services are so expensive that you are not able to afford the cost in the first place.Some don’t have the right lenders available for providing you the loans on flexible conditions. Therefore, services like Loans Express prove to be a revelation for people in need.
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Farming is more than just a job

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Developed some decades ago for the treatment of narcolepsy, There are many elements to your financial wealth that a good advisor should be able to help with all of them and provide you with a comprehensive plan.

auosyfoai

Reduction in the appearance of bloating and puffiness on your skin
Reduction in the appearance of wrinkles
Removal of toxins and harmful chemicals
Improved circulation and blood flow
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Benefits of water for good health and beauty
You need to drink plenty of water every day. If you want to calculate how much water you should ideally drink,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then experts have a simple formula for you. Take your weight in pounds and divide it by 2. This formula gives you the number of ounces of water you should consume in a day. For instance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if your weight is 140 pounds,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you need to consume at least 70 ounces of water in a day. In case you exercise you should drink another eight ounce glass of water for every 20 minutes that you are active. You should also increase your intake of water if you consume alcohol and drink too much tea or coffee.
Water therefore offers you numerous health and beauty benefits. Some of the key benefits of keeping your skin well-hydrated include –
Water is essential for proper functioning of almost every system in your body. It helps to flush out toxins from your body, carries nutrients to your cells and provides a moist environment for ear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nose and throat tissues. Lack of adequate amount of water in your body can lead to dehydration and make you look tired and worn out. Your skin is the biggest organ of your body and is intricately tied to the overall health of your body. The skin of a well-hydrated person therefore appears fresh and glowing.
How much water do you need to drink,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
By Caitlin Thea
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Water is extremely important for the proper functioning of almost every system in your body. In addition, drinking adequate amount of water helps you look fit and beautiful. If you are unsure whether you are drinking adequate amount of water or not,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], read the article below to know exactly how much water you need to drink for a healthy body.
Drinking adequate amounts of water is extremely essential for your health. It prevents your body from becoming dehydrated and helps you look gorgeous,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The article below offers information on how much water you should drink in a day and how water helps you enjoy a healthy body and gorgeous looks,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Out of your daily water requirement,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], about 20% is met by the food you take in and the rest through beverages you ingest. Try to meet this requirement through plain water. Avoid sodas or aerated drinks as they are rich in sugar and therefore provide you with more calories than you may need. On a busy day, it may be difficult to drink so much water. Expert solution is too keep a bottle of water handy at all times – while working, traveling or exercising. If drinking so much of plain water does not excite you then squeeze some lemon for added flavor.
Water is said to be the elixir of life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. People who want to maintain a healthy skin and look beautiful should especially be conscious about fulfilling their body’s water requirement and keep themselves hydrated at all times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Enhanced health and fitness
Increased energy levels
Bright, clear eyes
A radiant complexion
Water is the key component in your body as it makes up an average of about 60% of your body weight. Every day you lose a large amount of water through your breath, perspiration, urine and bowel movements. It is therefore essential to keep replenishing this loss by consuming large amounts of water. Read the article below to find out how much water you need to drink and what benefits water offers for your health and beauty.
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Developed some decades ago for the treatment of narcolepsy, There are many elements to your financial wealth that a good advisor should be able to help with all of them and provide you with a comprehensive plan.

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I said, “I don’t think I should have to pay anything, but yes. That works. Thank you.” I wasn’t completely happy, especially with all of the previous problems I’ve had, but he tried and four hours later my computer was fixed.
This poor, simple boy said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Mam, (yes he mamed me.) I’m very sorry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but there’s nothing we can do about technical problems. You’ll have to call back.”
“I understand that. I just don’t know why you couldn’t tell me this at the beginning of the call. Do I have to go through the automated system again before I can find out if the system is back up,” I said politely.
I went to their website and followed the prompts for technical support and it kept re-routing me and coming up “page not found”. I decided to look for a phone number and call the company. No phone number. Looking back on it, I should have gone into the sales page. I bet they had a phone number. Anyway, after about 45 minutes, I gave up and decided to go back to the computer manufacturer.
I’ve found that problem with many customer service representatives. They are taught to follow scripts and not think. As owners and professionals, we need to empower our staff. Make sure they know there are exceptions to rules and if they’re not sure… ask. It never hurts to ask.
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Fortunately in this situation, I knew enough to ask for the supervisor. The problem was the poor, young man didn’t know to ask if he could give out the number or even if they had it. It wasn’t his fault,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he hadn’t been trained.
This department said that they charge $250 to fix it, but they guaranteed it would be fixed. Yikes! I thought maybe I should try the software manufacturer before I shell out $250. Big Mistake! It was NOT a good idea.
You may see that one employee is giving a full refund and another is only allowing exchanges. That means you were not clear about what you want them to do in those situations. Tell them and put it in writing so everyone is on the same page. Find out where you cracks are in your program and fix them.
The poor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], young man thankfully said, “No problem. Hold just one minute.” The supervisor came on and gave me the number immediately. I called back a few hours later and a nice young woman got me all set up and we have XM. Yea!
This time it was a software problem. I called the company and they did what they do and the problem was still there. If I wanted them to do anything else, they would have to transfer me to another department. I said okay, of course. What else can I do?
This particular employee was smart enough to ask the question. They may have take less money this time, but next time I won’t hesitate to call them. I won’t tell everyone I know how terrible their company is either.
After a few minutes (not too long of a wait), a nice young man came on the line and said, “I’m sorry, but our system is down and we can’t process your order. You’ll have to call back in two or three hours and try again.”
I said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Are you kidding me? Why didn’t you tell me that before I just spent 20 minutes on the phone trying to set it up?”
If you already have a plan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], test it. Get a spy to come in or call with a complaint and see how your employees handle it. You can create any type of situation you want and do it as often as you want. Another option is to survey your customers. The key to this is having another company do it. Customers will be more honest that way. You will be surprised by what you find out.
Make things as easy as possible for your customers when they have a problem. We always make it easy for customers buy products, but we forget about the back end. Remember, it’s easier to keep a customer than get a new one. How you deal with a complaint will determine whether or not that customer is returning to your store.
When he came back, he said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I explained the situation and he has given me permission to fix this for $69. Does that work for you?”
I’m not talking about you. Okay, maybe I am, depending how difficult it is for your customers to reach you. I had a couple of experiences this week that reminded me of how vital this rule is.
“Yes mam, (there’s that mam again) you do,” said the poor, simple boy. We went round and round about this for quite a few minutes. Finally, frustrated, I said, “Could I speak to your supervisor, please?” I knew they had a direct line and I wasn’t hanging up the phone without it.
A good representative asking saved this next situation with my favorite computer company. I had another problem with my computer this week. Those of you who know me well have heard this before,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I’ve had lots of problems with this computer.
I recommend that you look at your customer service complaint program if you have one. If you don’t, develop one. What’s the procedure if someone calls with a complaint or a return? Do your employees know that? How about when they enter the store? Make sure everyone knows and it’s written down. Also make sure they know there are exceptions to every rule.
Anyway,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I get all the way to the end, gave them the card number and it wouldn’t go through. I tried again. It still wouldn’t go through. I tried again. Nope. Nothing. So the system sent me to an operator and that was good. I need to talk to a person now because the automated system wasn’t working.
The first story is about a little company called XM Radio. I called to set up an account and the whole process was automated and took about fifteen minutes. I’m not anti-automation as long as it’s easy to use and this one was working fairly well.
Good customer service is grounded in its ease of use for the consumer. If it’s difficult to reach you, they will go somewhere else. It’s something I’ve always known. At least,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I’ve known it for so long I don’t remember how or when I learned it. It’s such a simple idea. Why is it so difficult for companies to do?
By this time, my frustration got the best of me and I told him everything. Okay, not everything, but I said how frustrated I was and told him about the problems I’ve had with this computer (two hard drives & it wasn’t even a year old, etc.) I mean, it’s been rough. He said, “Let me talk to my supervisor and see what I can do.”
Both of these experiences got me thinking. How many times has someone come up to you or your employee already angry because they couldn’t get through or the last person they talked to wasn’t thinking? I say wasn’t thinking because so many customer service representative are just following a script.
By Marydee Freeman
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I called the computer company back and a different guy answered. He went through the different programs and included one for $150 (the first guy hadn’t told me about that one) and asked which one I wanted,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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Developed some decades ago for the treatment of narcolepsy, There are many elements to your financial wealth that a good advisor should be able to help with all of them and provide you with a comprehensive plan.

auosyfoai

When you briefly think about achieving success you may not notice your fear of it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It’ll be easy for you to establish new goals and uncover more desires to be successful. It’s not until you attempt to take action that you’ll notice hindrance.
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
You might truly desire to be successful, but it the feelings of fear due to the changes outweigh the positive feelings in your mind, progress will be slow and challenging.
How to Eliminate Your Fear of Success
Ultimately, if you look closely at your fears, you’ll see that the perceived side effects are what often seem scariest when pursing goals. So before you give up on your plans, ask yourself what would happen if you were ultimately successful. Tackle your fears head on and you can start achieving your dreams today.
If you can make yourself aware of your apprehensions, you have the opportunity to attach each of them and eliminate them or at least minimize them so that you can make progress.
Think of a goal that you’d like to achieve. Then take 20 to 30 minutes and answer the following question:
“What will happen if I succeed?”
Some of these consequences may reveal things you fear happening if you really achieved your goals.
Goals are never completely free of fear. Achievement always involves change,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and all change involves some apprehension.
In your excitement, you might quickly jot down some of the things you’ve wanted to buy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and once you have the money, you can. But then, as you delve further into all your feelings about achieving your goal, some of the not-so-positive consequences of your achievement appear on your page.
Write down everything you can think of, both the good and bad consequences of achieving your goal.
If your most desired goals seem more challenging than they should be consider self-sabotage.
Looking directly at these fears is very powerful. Fears that are not acknowledged tend to grow stronger. Fears that are examined tend to be minimized, which will help you take aggressive action towards the completion of a goal.
Typically it’s hard to identify this kind of fear because it’s not something that is overly obvious. You can be very familiar with your characteristics and still not know about this trait. In order to find it you have to do some real probing or pay close attention to your habits.
By Lea Bullen
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Is the Fear of Success Sabotaging You?
Your fear of success could be holding you back from accomplishing your greater goals. The immense sense of change can throw you off resulting in lack of progress,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This doesn’t mean that you don’t want it just that that type of success is a bit frightening.
Suppose your goal is to increase your income by $10,000-15,000 a year. Your list might include some of these items:
• I’ll be able to reduce my debt.
• I can buy a new car,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
• I can go on the vacation I’ve been wanting.
• I’ll have to pay a lot in taxes.
• My little brother will want to borrow money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
• I don’t know what to do with the money after I’ve got it.
• People will treat me differently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
• I should get a new house. But I don’t know where to move to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
• My partner will try to spend it all.
• I’ll probably just loose it or invest it incorrectly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It’s important to take at least 20 minutes to answer the question. Your initial answers are likely to be superficial. Simply keep writing for at least 20 minutes.
Put down everything that comes to mind. Nothing is too silly or too small. If,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], after 20 minutes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you’re still pouring out good stuff, then keep on going.
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Developed some decades ago for the treatment of narcolepsy, There are many elements to your financial wealth that a good advisor should be able to help with all of them and provide you with a comprehensive plan.

auosyfoai

Doomed to build and ruin, attach and detach, appreciate and depreciate, the narcissist is predictable in his Death Wish. What sets him apart from other suicidal types is that his wish is granted to him in small, tormenting doses throughout his anguished life.
This brings the narcissist a full cycle back to the first phase. Again, he perceives his Siblings or sons/daughters as threats. He quickly becomes disillusioned, in one of the spastic devaluation reactions typical of his appraisal of humans around him. He loses all interest, becomes emotionally remote, absent and cold, rejects any effort to communicate with him, citing life pressures and the preciousness and scarceness of his time. He feels burdened, cornered, besieged, suffocated, and claustrophobic. He wants to get away, to abandon his commitments to people who have become totally useless (or even damaging) to him. He does not understand why he has to support them, to suffer their company and he believes himself to have been trapped. He rebels either passively-aggressively (by refusing to act or intentionally sabotaging the relationships) or actively (by being overly critical, aggressive, unpleasant, verbally and psychologically abusive and so on). Slowly – to justify his acts to himself – he gets immersed in conspiracy theories with clear paranoid hues. To his mind, the members of the family conspire against him, seek to belittle or humiliate or subordinate him, do not understand him, stymie his growth. The narcissist usually finally gets what he wants and the family that he has created disintegrates to his great sorrow (due to the loss of the Narcissistic Space) – but also to his great relief and surprise (how could they have let go someone as unique as he?).
We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that we are born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts, attitudes, fears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hopes and desires – a whole emotional baggage – from the former to the latter. The narcissist is no exception.
But following some anti-narcissistic behaviours on their part (a critical remark, a disagreement, a refusal, however polite, all constitute such behaviours) – the narcissist devalues all these previously over-valued individuals. Now they are stupid, lack ambition, skills and talents, common (the worst expletive in the narcissist's vocabulary), with an unspectacular career ahead of them. The narcissist feels that he is misallocating his resources (for instance, his time). He feels besieged and suffocated. He rebels and erupts in a serious of self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours, which lead to the disintegration of his life.
Answer:
As the baby/sibling grows older, the narcissist begins to see their potential to be edifying, reliable and satisfactory Sources of Narcissistic Supply. His attitude, then, is completely transformed. The former threats have now become promising potentials. He cultivates those whom he trusts to be the most rewarding. He encourages them to idolise him, to adore him, to be awed by him, to admire his deeds and capabilities, to learn to blindly trust and obey him, in short to surrender to his charisma and to become submerged in his folies-de-grandeur. These roles – allocated to them explicitly and demandingly or implicitly and perniciously by the narcissist – are best fulfilled by ones whose mind is not fully formed and independent. The older the siblings or offspring, the more they become critical, even judgmental,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], of the narcissist. They are better able to put into context and perspective his actions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to question his motives, to anticipate his moves. They refuse to continue to play the mindless pawns in his chess game. They hold grudges against him for what he has done to them in the past, when they were less capable of resistance. They can gauge his true stature,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], talents and achievements – which, usually, lag far behind the claims that he makes.
Is there a "typical" relationship between the Narcissist and his family?
It is the easiest to resort to Nature. After all, all living species breed and most of them parent. We are, all taken into consideration, animals and, therefore, subject to the same instinctive behaviour patterns. There is no point in looking for a reason: survival itself (whether of the gene pool or, on a higher level, of the species) is at stake. Breeding is a transport mechanism: handing the precious cargo of genetics down generations of "organic containers".
The narcissist has a dichotomous view of humanity: humans are either Sources of Narcissistic Supply (and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then, idealised and over-valued) or do not fulfil this function (and, therefore, are valueless, devalued). The narcissist gets all the love that he needs from himself. From the outside he needs approval, affirmation, admiration, adoration, attention – in other words, externalised Ego boundary functions. He does not require – nor does he seek – his parents' or his siblings' love, or to be loved by his children. He casts them as the audience in the theatre of his inflated grandiosity. He wishes to impress them, shock them, threaten them, infuse them with awe, inspire them, attract their attention, subjugate them, or manipulate them. He emulates and simulates an entire range of emotions and employs every means to achieve these effects. He lies (narcissists are pathological liars – their very self is a false one). He plays the pitiful, or, its opposite, the resilient and reliable. He stuns and shines with outstanding intellectual, or physical (or anything else appreciated by the members of the family) capacities and achievements. When confronted with (young) siblings or with his own children, the narcissist is likely to undergo three reactive phases:
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And the more Narcissistic supply can be derived from other sources – the less do people resort to making children and to other procreative activities (such as sex). Freud described the mechanism of sublimation: the sex drive, the Eros (libido), can be "converted", "sublimated" into other activities. All the sublimatory channels and activities are Narcissistic in character: politics, art. They all provide what children do: narcissistic supply. They make children redundant. It is not by coincidence that people famous for their creativity tend to have less children than the average (most of them, none at all). They are Narcissistically self sufficient, they do not need children.
This is a highly dubious claim. Any analysis, however shallow, will reveal its weaknesses. Our genetic material gets diluted beyond reconstruction with time. It constitutes 50% of the first generation, 25% of the second and so on. If this were the paramount concern – incest should have been the norm, being a behaviour better able to preserve a specific set of genes (especially today, when genetic screening can effectively guard against the birth of defective babies). Moreover, progeny is a dubious way of perpetuating one's self. No one remembers one's great great grandfathers. One's memory is better preserved by intellectual feats or architectural monuments. The latter are much better conduits than children and grandchildren.
Appendix
Still, this indoctrinated misconception is so strong that a baby boom characterizes post war periods. Having been existentially threatened, people multiply in the vain belief that they thus best protect their genetic heritage and fixate their memory.
First hypothesis: we bring children to the world in order to "circumvent" death. We attain immortality (genetically and psychologically – though in both cases it is imaginary) by propagating our genetic material through the medium of our offspring.
Having children is not a survival or genetically oriented imperative. Had this been the case, the number of children would have risen together with free income. Yet, exactly the reverse is happening: the more children people can economically afford – the fewer they have. The more educated they are (=the more they know about the world and about themselves), the less they seek to procreate. The more advanced the civilization, the more efforts it invests into preventing the birth of children: contraceptives, family planning, abortions. These all are typical of affluent, well educated societies.
Whatever the narcissist perceives to be his competition for scarce Narcissistic Supply is relegated to the role of the enemy. Where no legitimacy exists for the uninhibited expression of the aggression and hostility aroused by this predicament – the narcissist prefers to stay away. He disconnects, detaches himself emotionally, becomes cold and disinterested, directs transformed anger at his mate or at his parents (the more legitimate targets).
For further elaboration, please refer to: "Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited" and the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) sections.
We are all Narcissists, to a greater or lesser degree. A Narcissist is a person who projects a (false) image to the people around him. He then proceeds to define himself by this very image reflected back at him. Thus, he regards people as mere instruments, helpful in his Sisyphean attempt at self-definition. Their attention is crucial because it augments his weak ego and defines its boundaries. The Narcissist feeds off their admiration, adoration and approval and these help him to maintain a grandiose (fantastic and delusional) sense of self. As the personality matures, Narcissism is replaced with the ability to empathize and to love. The energy (libido) initially directed at loving one's (false) self is redirected at more multidimensional, less idealized "targets": others. This edifice of maturity seems to crumble at the sight of one's offspring. The baby evokes in the parent the most primordial drives, a regression to infancy, protective, animalistic instincts, the desire to merge with the newborn and a sense of terror generated by such a desire (a fear of vanishing and of being assimilated). The parent relives his infancy and childhood through the agency of the baby. The newborn provides the parent with endless, unconditional and unbounded Narcissistic supply. This is euphemistically known as love – but it is really a form of symbiotic dependence, at least in the beginning of the relationship. Such narcissistic supply is addictive even to the more balanced, more mature, more psychodynamically stable of parents.
By Sam Vaknin
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It enhances the parent's self-confidence, self esteem and buttresses his self image. It fast becomes indispensable, especially in the emotionally vulnerable position in which the parent finds himself. This vulnerability is a result of the reawakening and reconstruction of all the conflicts and unsolved complexes that the parent had with his own parents.
If explanation is true,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the following should also hold true:
At first, he perceives his offspring as a threat to his Narcissistic Supply Sources (his turf,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Pathological Narcissistic Space). He does his best to belittle them, hurt (also physically) and humiliate them and then, when these reactions prove ineffective or counter productive, he retreats into an imaginary world of omnipotence. A period of emotional absence and detachment ensues. The narcissist indulges himself in daydreaming, delusions of grandeur, planning of future coups, nostalgia and hurt (the Lost Paradise Syndrome). The narcissist reacts this way to the birth of his children or to the introduction of new centres of attention to the family cell (even a new pet!).
To experience the unconditional love that we received from our mothers, this intoxicating feeling of being loved without caveats, for what we are, with no limits, reservations, or calculations. This is the most powerful, crystallized source of Narcissistic supply. It nourishes our self-love, self worth and self-confidence. It infuses us with feelings of omnipotence and omniscience. In these, and other respects,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is a return to infancy.
In the better-educated, higher income, low infant mortality part of the world – the number of children has decreased dramatically – but those who still bring them to the world do so partly because they believe in these factually erroneous assumptions.
Hypothesis number three: children are mostly born unwanted. They are the results of accidents and mishaps, wrong fertility planning, wrong decisions and misguided turns of events. The more sex people engage in and the less preventive measures they adopt – the greater the likelihood of having a child. While this might be factually true (family planning is all but defunct in most parts of the world),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it neglects the simple fact that people want children and love them. Children are still economic assets in many parts of the world. They plough fields and do menial jobs very effectively. This still does not begin to explain the attachment between parents and their offspring and the grief experienced by parents when children die or are sick. It seems that people derive enormous emotional fulfilment from being parents. This is true even when the children were unwanted in the first place or are the results of lacking planning and sexual accidents. That children ARE the results of sexual ignorance, bad timing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the vigorousness of the sexual drive (higher frequency of sexual encounters) – can be proven using birth statistics among teenagers, the less educated and the young (ages 20 to 30).
Other narcissists see the opportunity in the “mishap”. They seek to manipulate their parents (or their mate) by "taking over" the newcomer. Such narcissists monopolise their siblings or their new-born children. This way, indirectly, the narcissist basks in the attention directed at the infant. An example: by being closely identified with his offspring, a narcissistic father secures the grateful admiration of the mother ("What an outstanding father he is"). He also assumes part of or all the credit for baby’s/sibling’s achievements. This is a process of annexation and assimilation of the other, a strategy that the narcissist makes use of in most of his relationships.
This is the cycle: the narcissist feels threatened by arrival of new family members – assimilation of siblings or offspring – obtaining Narcissistic Supply from them – overvaluation of these new sources by the narcissist – as sources grow older and independent, they adopt anti narcissistic behaviours – the narcissist devalues them – the narcissist feels stifled and trapped – the narcissist becomes paranoid – the narcissist rebels and the family disintegrates. This cycle characterises not only the family life of the narcissist. It is to be found in other realms of his life (his career, for instance). At work, the narcissist, initially, feels threatened (no one knows him, he is a nobody). Then, he develops a circle of admirers, cronies and friends which he "nurtures and cultivates" in order to obtain Narcissistic Supply from them. He overvalues them (they are the brightest, the most loyal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with the biggest chances to climb the corporate ladder and other superlatives).
This seems to be the key to our determination to have children:
But this is a reductionist view, which both ignores epistemological and emotional realities – and is tautological, thereby explaining something in terms of itself. Calling something by a different name or describing the mechanisms involved in minute detail does not an explanation make.
There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance is involved in feeling that children are more a satisfaction than a nuisance. Why do people bother with parenting? It is time consuming, exhausting, strains otherwise pleasurable and tranquil relationships to their limits. Still,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], humanity keeps at it: breeding.
It is possible to think of children as habit forming (see: "The Habit of Identity"). In this hypothesis, parents – especially mothers – form a habit. Nine months of pregnancy and a host of social reactions condition the parents. They get used to the presence of an "abstract" baby. It is a case of a getting used to a concept. This is not very convincing. Entertaining a notion, a concept, a thought, an idea, a mental image, or a symbol very rarely leads to the formation of a habit. Moreover, the living baby is very different to its pre-natal image. It cries, it soils, it smells, it severely disrupts the lives of its parents. It is much easier to reject it then to transform it to a habit. Moreover, a child is a bad emotional investment. So many things can and do go wrong with it as it grows. So many expectations and dreams are frustrated. The child leaves home and rarely reciprocates. The emotional "returns" on an investment in a child are rarely commensurate with the magnitude of the investment.
Question:
This is not to say that people do NOT derive pleasure and fulfilment from their offspring. This is undeniable. Yet, it is neither in the economic nor in the mature emotional arenas. To have children seems to be a purely Narcissistic drive, a part of the pursuit of Narcissistic supply.
People derive great happiness, fulfilment and satisfaction from their children. Is not this, in itself, a sufficient explanation? The pleasure principle seems to be at work: people have children because it gives them great pleasure. Children are sources of emotional sustenance. As parents grow old, they become sources of economic support, as well. Unfortunately, these assertions are not sustained by the facts. Increasing mobility breaks families apart at an early stage. Children become ever more dependent on the economic reserves of their parents (during their studies and the formation of a new family). It is not uncommon today for a child to live with and off his parents until the age of 30. Increasing individualism leaves parents to cope with the empty nest syndrome. Communication between parents and children has rarefied in the 20th century.
Second hypothesis: we bring children to the world in order to preserve the cohesiveness of the family nucleus. This claim can more plausibly be reversed: the cohesiveness of the social cell of the family encourages bringing children to the world. In both cases, if true, we would have expected more children to be born into stable families (ante or post facto) than into abnormal or dysfunctional ones. The facts absolutely contradict this expectation: more children are born to single parent families (between one third and one half of them) and to other "abnormal" (non-traditional) families than to the mother-father classic configuration. Dysfunctional families have more children than any other type of family arrangement. Children are an abject failure at preserving family cohesiveness. It would seem that the number of children, or even their very existence, is not correlated to the stability of the family. Under special circumstances, (Narcissistic parents, working mothers) they may even be a destabilizing factor.
The higher the self confidence, the self esteem, the self worth, the clearer and more realistic the self image of the potential parent – the less children he will have (the Principle of the Conservation of the Ego boundaries) The more sources of readily available Narcissistic supply – the less children are needed (the substitutability of Narcissistic sources of supply) Sure enough, both predictions are validated by reality. The higher the education and the income of adults – the fewer children they tend to have. People with a higher education and with a greater income are more likely to have a more established sense of self worth. Children become counter-productive: not only is their Narcissistic input (supply) unnecessary, they can also hinder further progress.
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5. Dentists have been trained in the administration of clinical facial injection rejuvenation treatments,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Injections of filling can be messy so it's a good idea to have your treatment by a dentist or a physician who is expert in these procedures.They can administer local anesthetic injections to make your treatment more comfortable. Results are visible almost immediately which is great news for patients. The injections must be repeated after 6 to 9 months the effects will gradually diminishing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], although it can sometimes take more than a year. The effects tend to disappear faster in areas most affected by muscle movement.
7. Dentists can discuss all your facial aesthetic concerns, as her smile and teeth And some fillers
:- Dentists are the first head and neck experts.
Filling simply allow physicians to inject these natural components back into the skin, restoring the volume of the skin and minimize the appearance of wrinkles, folds and scars. Fillers are the most commonly sought as a safe and effective way to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles such as crow's feet, forehead lines and corners of the mouth. They are a natural,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], safe and fast to smooth wrinkles and fine lines.
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Dentists are able to give injections of local anesthesia if necessary to make you feel more comfortable During treatment
Dermal fillers are used to soften the lines and contours, folds and wrinkles. They are in a minimally invasive procedure for the recovery time little or nothing. They cost less than surgery and involves minimal risks. Dermal fillers have become a very trendy way to deal with the aging process. They can access the areas of fine lines and wrinkles, and are also effective to add fullness to the lips tight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to improve the sunken cheeks and can also be used to outline the bridge of the nose.
4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Dentists still use sterile or "disposable" instruments
Fillers are available in different qualities and thicknesses and can be used for the treatment of nasolabial lines, smokers lines,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lips, deep forehead wrinkles and other facial areas
D is for the dentist and the filling too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. B is for beauty and also for the Botox. Read on to find out why your dentist may be the best person to visit the dermal filler and Botox treatments.
6,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Dentists hold appropriate liability insurance
Other substances widely used in facial rejuvenation procedures are dermal fillers like Restylane and Hydrafill. Both products are based on hyaluronic acid is a natural substance in the body. Hyaluronic acid binds to water in our body and gives the skin look good,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], plump. As we age,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the amount of hyaluronic acid in the body decreases leading to sagging skin and skin folds.
3. Dentists working in an appropriate clinical setting
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A locksmith is the individual who utilizes his information to repair secures and makes you the time of necessity. Without the aptitudes and ability controlled by them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you could be encountering pain occasionally. Well what kind of situations the locks are giving you, the equipped locksmith will give you the brisk settle results,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so don't frenzy depending on if you have disregarded the keys within the auto and are bolted out of the auto,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], locksmiths is the offer explanation to your supplications to God. In the situation that you are familiar with the locksmith suppliers close by your place then regard yourself lucky as you are at present out of the situation.A locksmith can perform various vocations like altering of the locks and dealing with the dead jolts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but not numerous folks are mindful that they likewise have prior experience with vehicle repairs and commissioning the safes in your house for saving the valuable belonging like dinero and gems.
Some of the groups moreover interest the fingerprints of the locksmiths for the purpose that they don't exploit their aptitudes and carry out law violations. Accordingly, it is of prime significance to watch that the locksmith to be enlisted is having a license or not. In the event that he makes a point not to have one then drop the plan of taking any assistance from him as he would be able to not be trusted to permit passage in your house.When picking a locksmith,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], solicit the declarations and authorize controlled by him and check them precisely. This is quite critical and no hazard might as well be taken in such cases. Locksmith Manhattan and private locksmith are the reliable ones, and would be able to be utilized in crisis provided that you are having locks and keys discomforts at your home. Now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you could not have any situation employing a locksmith to coddle you requires as you hold every last trace of the sufficient info that is wanted.
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Another common reason for marriages of convenience is to hide one partner's homosexuality in cases where being openly gay is punishable or potentially detrimental. A sham marriage may thus create the appearance of heterosexuality. Such marriages may have one heterosexual and one gay partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or two gay partners. In the case where a gay man marries a woman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the woman is said to be his "beard". Oscar Wilde,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Cole Porter and Rock Hudson are said to have had marriages of convenience to hide their homosexuality.
Historically,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], marriages were frequently arranged between families in order to protect wealth, title, inheritance, or similar issues of property. Such marriages went forward with little or no consideration of love or affection between the people to be married. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], arranged marriages are not necessarily marriages of convenience. Arranged marriages remain common in many parts of the world,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including India and other parts of East Asia.
Arranged marriages
By Wikipedia.org
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The phrase "marriage of convenience" has also been generalized to mean any partnership between groups or individuals for their mutual (and sometimes illegitimate) benefit, or between groups or individuals otherwise unsuited to working together. An example would be a "National Unity Government", as existed in Israel during much of the 1970s or in Second World War Great Britain. More specifically, cohabitation refers to a political situation which can occur in countries with a semi-presidential system (especially France), where the president and the prime minister belong to opposed political camps.
Marriage Without Love Causes Problems
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Marriages of convenience are often contracted to exploit legal loopholes of various sorts. A couple may wed for reasons of citizenship or right of abode, for example, as many countries around the world will grant such rights to any wedded resident.
Wikipedia, the free enclyclopedia &copy 2001-2008 Wikipedia Contributors
This article is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License
Historically,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], European royal families would arrange for their children to be married into other European royal families. The most famous example of this was Queen Victoria,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whose children married into different royal houses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and earned the nickname of "the Grandmother of Europe". This type of marriage served several purposes. In many nations it was unacceptable for nobility to marry another social class. Other purposes included forging alliances between two nations or staving off the threat of war. The downside to these marriages is illustrated by accusations that Russia's Tsar Nicholas II's German born wife was a German spy and was sabotaging the Russian war effort during the First World War.
A marriage of convenience is a marriage contracted for reasons other than the reasons of relationship, family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or love. Instead, such a marriage is orchestrated for personal gain or some other sort of strategic purpose,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], such as immigration. The phrase is a calque of French mariage de convenance - a marriage of convention, or marriage of suitability.
Such partnerships are often referred to jokingly as "marriages of inconvenience", particularly where real co-operation between the parties is absent.
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"If I don't do what they want and they get upset, aren't I causing their upset?"
As Lila became willing to have her husband - and others - be upset with her and willing to take responsibility for her own feelings rather than theirs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she found herself becoming happy. The more she took responsibility for her own feelings rather than for Seth's, the more loving she felt toward Seth.
"No. If you don't do what your husband wants and he gets upset, he might be telling himself something like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "Lila doesn't care about me." It is this thought that is upsetting him. But is this true? When you don't do what he wants, is it because you don't care about him?"
For example, when Lila started to work with me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she was convinced that it was her husband's lack of help around the house, his anger, and his unwillingness to communicate with her that was causing her unhappiness. Yet it soon because apparent to me that her unhappiness was being caused by giving herself and care-taking others to avoid conflict.
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I have found that taking responsibility for others' feelings rather than one's own is one of the key issues that cause relationships to fail,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Learning how to take responsibility for your own feelings and wellbeing and not for others' feelings may heal your relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
"So his upset is coming from what he is telling himself rather than from you having done something wrong. But he will continue to get angry and blame you as long as it works for him to get you to do what he wants. The way out of this dysfunctional system is for you to be willing to have him be angry with you. You might want to practice saying to yourself, 'I'm willing for others to be upset with me. I don't cause their upset. I haven't done anything wrong.' When you are willing for others to be upset with you and you know you are not the cause of their feelings, then you are free to take responsibility for your own feelings. You are free to be kind and loving to yourself and them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], instead of giving yourself up and care-taking them."
"No, not at all. Usually it is something that he can do for himself and I want to do something else with that time."
"I just don't like to fight. I don't like conflict. I don't like arguing. I don't like for people to be upset with me.
"I'm telling myself that I did something wrong or they wouldn't be upset."
"So you are taking responsibility for their feelings and behavior instead of your own. You are telling yourself that you are CAUSING their upset, rather than their upset coming from what they are telling themselves about your behavior. It sounds like you want to believe that you cause - and therefore control - their feelings and behavior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and you also want to believe that they are causing yours."
"When people are angry or upset with you, what are you telling yourself that make this so hard for you?"
"Lila,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you constantly give yourself up and do what others want you to do - not just with Seth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but with your children and with people at work. There must be a good reason that you do this, even though it is making you feel resentful and trapped. Why do you think you are doing this?"
As a counselor, I often work with people who are unhappy in their relationship and thinking of leaving. They believe that they are unhappy because of their partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the real reason is that they are not taking responsibility for their own feelings within the relationship.
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Earliest American students of Aikido ?
In the late 1950’s we started to get quite a few American servicemen from the local West Drayton AFB attending Aikido classes. There were some tough guys amongst them, they were decent genuine guys but found it hard to accept techniques on face value, there was a lot of “ what ifs “ so the Hut Pub car park became the testing ground for many techniques, Williams Sensei would say “ Ellis, necessary show Mr Smiff Aikido in a real situation “. So if anyone ever came to test Aikido at the Hut Dojo, It would be sorted in the Hut car park and then back to practice on the tatami.
In those early days there was no need for the use of lots of Japanese terminology, something that today seems very much over the top. I remember when I was assistant to Chiba Sensei and we visited a dojo in the north of England, the students were speaking a lot of terminology in Japanese, Sensei turned to me and said “ Mr Ellis I have no idea what they are saying “. The point is that many area dialects are difficult to understand in ones own country, turn that into Japanese and you have something special.
I was now training five nights a week and Sunday mornings. I was progressing quickly , when I reached 3rd kyu ( green belt ) Williams Sensei asked me to be his personal assistant, a position I readily accepted. From now on the training became harder than ever, with 200 push ups on the backs of the hands at the start of each class. This early style of Aikido was extremely hard and one would learn good ukemi simply to survive injury, today many students have ukemi that resembles an acrobat or a gymnast and is used more to make their nage ` look spectacular `. To this day I do not take a ` favourite ` uke with me, I simply tell the class that they can either go prettily or ugly, either way they are going.
A very important part of our training was the inclusion of Karate kicking and punching, this is still an integral part of our training.
As his uke attacked him with the floppy rubber knife I started to count the times he had been stabbed with the floppy rubber knife, eventually Tori disarmed his uke and took the floppy rubber knife from him. he then declared himself as the winner. When Tori came off the mat I asked “ what was that all about ? “
He said that the object was to disarm his attacker which he had, I said “ You cannot disarm a man that has just stabbed you 8 times because you are dead “ ..
Henry Ellis a direct student of the legendary Budo master Kenshiro Abbe Sensie from 1957. Ellis first started Judo in 1956 at the now famous ` Hut Dojo ` where he became one of the very first students of Aikido in the UK and is now a leading pioneer of British Aikido. Ellis is an avid writer on the true history of Aikido in the UK and a constant thorn in the sides of those that would attempt to corrupt that proud history, lineage and legacy left in our care by the early teachers of the Martial Arts.
The Attack of the Floppy Rubber Knife
The following year I did a display somewhere and was surprised to see another demonstration of Aikido by the same Tomiki group, I have no idea why we were both there. I did real knife and when the other group did their display they used a floppy rubber knife.
Names such as Kenshiro Abbe – Mutsuro Otani – Tomio Otani – Mutsuro Nakazono – Tadashi Abe – M Michigami – M Noro – H Koybayashi – M Harada. N Tamara . K Chiba.
I was privileged to study with all of these great Budo teachers who’s names are like the who’s who of Budo. I have written another article on my memories and experiences with these teachers “ The Budo Masters “.
12
The BJC with its various organisations organised the National Summer Schools at Grange Farm Sports Centre in Chigwell Essex. These summer schools were a joint affair with all the various martial arts being together during the week of training, we had students attend from all over the UK. This meeting of all the teachers was very good for Aikido as people who had never heard or seen Aikido before were now getting to see and understand more about Aikido, they in turn were now inviting instructors to visit all over the UK. These summer schools gave students an opportunity to try Judo – Kendo – Karate – Aikido. Students would make friends of students of other disciplines as I did my self, friends I still have to this day.
I attended the first Summer School, there were only three students of Aikido there from the Hut Dojo,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Eric Dollimore , Haydyn Foster and Henry Ellis ( me ). Aikido was virtually ignored during that first week, all the other martial arts were given priority over the mat space. The only Aikido instructor there was Abbe Sensei and he was very busy with the Judo which was the largest group. Fortunately the weather was very good so the three of us just went into the adjacent field and practiced Aikido for a week. The word of Aikido was spreading quiet fast and the following summer schools were very different with Aikido being one of the biggest groups.
The summer schools changed with the invitation of M Nakazono Sensei. We had been told by Abbe Sensei to be strong, not to give or go for any technique unless it was fully applied, to do otherwise would be seen disrespectful by Nakazono Sensei. Sensei had a real hard time teaching us and had to use his power to take us,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which he did but with the inevitable injuries that had to follow. Sensei did not understand why we were being so strong and resistant when after all he was here to help us, later Abbe Sensei explained why we were as we were and Sensei then understood, he then explained the true study of Aikido and we learned so much from him on that course. Nakazono Sensei had all the dan grades on the tatami for 10 hrs a day. In those days the pubs in England closed at 10-30pm and Sensei had us on the tatami until 10pm. Ken Williams who was the National Coach said to me during one of these exhausting evenings “ Ellis, as my assistant it is for you to ask Nakazono Sensei for permission to leave the tatami at 9-30pm so that we can get a last couple of pints of beer, I reluctantly approached Sensei who himself a non drinker.
13
I asked if we could finish a little earlier to go to the pub, he was so angry with me, he said “ I travel many miles to teach you true Aikido and all you want to do is go to the pub “ ……I felt as if I had been smashed with a bokken between the eyes, I took the answer as an absolute NO !!....................................
The smallest of all the dan grades was one Eric Dollimore, as he was leaving the tatami one Sunday morning, I challenged him to ` try for real ` he replied that he had arranged to go to his girl friends home for Sunday lunch and was late. I regarded this as an excuse and had a little smile of satisfaction to myself as I turned away, I then heard a voice behind me call out “ OK Harry, its got to be quick though ! “ I thought to myself “ It will be quicker than you can imagine “.
I visited Abbe Sensie one day and to my surprise and total disappointment he was watching the “ World Cricket Series “ on TV. I hate cricket, I was disappointed to see my teacher watching such a stupid game . He was very quiet so I ventured “ Sensei, you like cricket ? “
He replied sharply “ NO ! stupid game “ I was now amazed as he watched the TV intently, I took a step back and asked “ Sensei, why do you watch cricket then ?? “ He said something very profound that I had never really thought about before as he answered “They call this world series, not world, only countries that Britain have colonised play cricket, stupid game, he said “ I watch stupid game every day and I never understand stupid game, he then turned the TV off and never mentioned it again…
By Henry Ellis
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Henry Ellis 5th dan
Co-author of Positive Aikido
Ellis Schools of Traditional Aikido
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Ssshhh !! Don’t Mention Haemorrhoids
When Derek Eastman Sensei became my assistant in 1959 I allowed him take the very hard warm up and exercise routines, one of which was bunny hops around the inner edge of the tatami and touching each corner. Remember, Derek is only sixteen years of age and during one of these bunny hopping sessions a student limps over to Derek and whispers “ Derek , I can’t do these bunny hops as they are so very painful “ Derek asks out loud “ Why are they painful ? “ the student whispers in Derek’s ear “ I have bad piles ( haemorrhoids ) so Derek excused him, he then changed the exercise. The next day he is taking the exercises again and said “ Line up ready for bunny hopping, anyone with piles ( haemorrhoids ) just stand to one side “ EVERYONE got down in the bunny hop position including the student who only the day before had asked to be excused, Derek called him over and said “ Why didn’t you step back when I excused anyone with piles ? “.
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The adult student looked at Derek in disbelief and said “ Derek, NO ONE IS GOING TO ADMIT THEY HAVE PILES !!!! “ he then explained to Derek what piles were all about, as Derek had never heard of them before.
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A visit by the Aikikai rep H Koybayashi Sensei 1965/6
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This was now decision time and the cycle racing had to go, that was a tough decision that would later change the direction of my whole life.
I asked some of the Judoka about Aikido, they just shrugged and said they had never heard of it before.
A Life Changing Decision
After several months of both Judo and Aikido I made the fateful decision to dedicate myself to Aikido.
As I have previously stated, this was the only Aikido class in the UK at the now famous ` Hut Dojo ` as it was better known rather than its actual name of ` The Abbe School of Budo `. All he great names in Budo to visit the UK would pay a visit to the humble “ Hut Dojo “.
In the early 1960’s Kenshiro Abbe Sensei invited Matsutaro Nakazono Sensei to visit the UK. Sensei arrived at the now famous Hut Dojo with Pierre Chassang Sensei. Nakazono Sensei made many visits to the UK and to this day he is the one teacher that is remembered fondly and with great respect by all the old dan grades from that era. I was on stage with Nakazono Sensei at the BJC National Championships 1963. This event was at the Royal Albert Hall in London. This event I have always believed did more to promote and showcase Martial Arts in the UK than anything before or since. With so many big names such as the following sensei’s - Kenshiro Abbe – Matsutaro Otani – Matsutaro Nakazono – M Michigami – M Harada – M Noro . The thrill and excitement of being a part of this event and in the great arena at the Royal Albert Hall is with me to this very day.
The First Ever UK Aikido Seminar
Aikido demonstrations were now being requested at many of the top Judo Events. The name of Aikido was becoming known. Judo clubs would invite us to take small classes around the country. The very first Aikido seminar was at a Judo club in the Wiltshire town of Devises under Sensei Graham Burt. Sensei Williams had at that time a big powerful Ariel Square 4 motorcycle with a passenger sidecar, I travelled in that damned coffin attached to the motorbike,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I swore never again, I never did.
Tomiki Aikido
On Nakazono Sensei’s first visit to the Hut Dojo we were suddenly informed that all the dan grades who had been graded by Kenshiro Abbe Sensei were now to be re-graded to make sure that they met the modern day standards of the Aikikai.
We faced a very hard re-grading, where one student was de-graded to shoden and to add to his humiliation, Nakazono said “ Necessary sell your gi while prices are high “.
Nakazono Sensei told all eight dan grades that their standard was very good and they could all practice on equal terms with the students at the Aikikai.
The Hut Dojo was the nucleus of all Aikido in the UK. There were no other dan grades outside of the Hut. Aikido was now spreading all around the UK, the dan grades were away most weekends teaching up and down the country with courses – seminars and demonstrations. There was no doubt that there was a shortage of dan grades,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but dan grades of the standard of the Hut took men of a certain calibre and a long time.
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Henry Ellis Learns a Valuable Lesson
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I decided in 1971 due to pressure of work and family to step back from the hectic schedule of being with Chiba Sensei. I am still in contact with Kazuo Chiba Shihan who personally invited me to his 40th year in the UK Celebrations in London in October 2006.
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Ken Williams Sensei decided that it would be a good idea to create honory dan grades around the UK. I did not like this idea at all, people were attracted to the strong Aikido of the original Hut dan grades, what would they think if they saw people who were not of that standard ` acting ` as dan grades. I was always very loyal to Williams Sensei but I just could not accept this. I complained bitterly, my complaints were ignored, I was assured that these ` new ` dan grades would send in to the Hut monthly reports on their progress, sure enough the first report came in at the end of the month, Sensei Williams thrust the report in my face and said “ there !! what did I tell you “ I looked at the report and sure enough it contained some details of this persons progress, and signed Billy Bloggs Shodan, I handed Williams Sensei the report and asked him “ where is the honory signature on this document “, that did not go down well at all.
I believe that this was the start of the break down of that great camaraderie at that had existed Hut for the past several years.
The first group at the Hut Dojo were totally dedicated and trained very hard, at the end of the 1950/60s there were now a total of 8 dan grades, these were now the only dan grades in the whole of the UK for Aikido and all in one dojo.
It was standard practice every Sunday morning to lock the dojo and allow only the dan grades and special students to train. This was the time of testing the techniques and each other with real fighting. There was often blood spilt, but there were never any hard feelings afterwards, when the session ended we all would go next door to the Hut Pub and have a few pints of beer and count our lumps.
Ki Aikido
In those early days of Aikido the word Ki was very rarely mentioned. I once asked Kenshiro Abbe about Ki as he had mentioned it once or twice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he said he was teaching Ki in the techniques so no need to worry ourselves, he said he would speak to us about Ki when we were ready, It is amusing now to see organisations offering `Ki` to first lesson students.
The Aikido I see being offered as Ki Aikido is pretty awful stuff that if I had seen that in those early days I would never have given my bicycle away. The Aikido I first saw was without doubt a true martial art, it saddens me to see how people have changed Aikido into something that is now quasi religious. Why have these wannbees turned Aikido into some kind of dance. I now see some do Aikido to music. Kazuo Chiba said and also repeated in an article on Aikido Journal, he saidthat OSensie had later decided to make Aikido available to `all` including the elderly and the disabled along with the weak and people who were not martial by nature, now these people are saying “ My Aikido is the true Aikido “. Well, I just hope that if any of these people are ever attacked in the street, their opponent is from their own dojo, as that is the only way their Aikido will be of any use to them. I took part in a seminar recently where a Ki teacher demonstrated Sankkyo from Ikkyo, as he brought the hand palm up from the mat he described the palm as a bowl of soup. The mind boggles.
It was at about this time that we heard of a new Aikido group in London.
Tomiki Aikido was first introduced to the UK by Senta Yamada Sensei in the early 1960s. Yamada Sensei 6th dan Judo was a highly respected Judoka, he was also friendly with Kenshiro Abbe Sensei. We heard that this new Aikido school had opened in North London. It was decided that K Williams and his eight dan grades would pay them a visit.
Our visit was unannounced and we were not favourably received. Williams Sensei politely asked if we could train with them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the instructor said emphatically ` NO `, Williams Sensei asked “ WHY NOT ? “ , the Tomiki instructor said that we could not train as we wore hakama’s and they did not, Williams Sensei replied that we had no problem training without our hakama’s. We were then informed that we were a different organisation, I replied that organisations were only on paper and Aikido was Aikido. There was no way this instructor was going to have us in his class. If we had stormed the mat Abbe Sensei would have been very upset about that. We watched the class for a few minutes and we could see why they did not want us to join them. We went to a pub just down the road, we were surprised some time later to see the Tomiki group come in the bar, the students came over and spoke to us and they seemed quite genuine and friendly. One big guy who introduced himself as a 1st kyu apologised for the fact that we were not allowed to go on the mat, we spoke about techniques and our differences, he asked about a technique that we called Nikkyo, he tried to apply the technique on me, nothing !,( Gyaku Hanmi Katate Tori ) I did it on him and he screamed as he went down, I did not intend to hurt him as I thought he was stronger than that, he said that my technique was amazing and took me over to his teacher who was in a conversation with Williams Sensei. The first kyu asked his ( insisted ) that his teacher try Nykkyo on me, his teacher tried to apply the technique, nothing!, the teacher said to his student that I was making the arm of stone and if he were to apply the mind of stone he would break my arm. I asked him to break my arm, he tried and his mind of stone was no different to whatever his previous mindset was. as he was attempting to break my arm one of my friends put a pint of beer on the bar next to me, I picked up the pint and drank it in one go, something I had never done before or since. You can say that was a display of arrogance and I guess you would be correct, that was just how it was in those early days.
Kenshiro Abbe Sensei & The British Judo Council
Author's Bio:
Have Hakama will Travel
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I am still amused as I recall many years later I was invited to visit a large dojo in Texas USA, as the class lined up, there was a loud chorus from all the students making a long welcome speech in Japanese of which I only made out maybe two words.
The First Eight UK Dan Grades
Kazuo Chiba Sensei arrives in the UK 1966.
Kenshiro Abbe had gone back to Japan for the Olympics, whilst there he made a visit to see OSensei, he had not discussed this planned visit with Sensei Williams or anyone else, so one can imagine it was a shock when Chiba Sensei arrived at the Hut Dojo. This was now a severe test of loyalties as not only the Hut dan grades had to make some serious decisions. Some months later I decided to join Chiba Sensie. Haydn Foster Sensei decided to stay at the hut and when Williams Sensie later moved to Wales he took over the old Hut dojo, some dan grades were so disillusioned that they totally gave up Aikido.
Derek Eastman Sensei went away for a year to work on the North Sea Oil rigs, when he came home he started his own dojos, he later asked me if he could start the Ellis Schools of Traditional Aikido to which I agreed, I joined Derek and we have been teaching and training together ever since.
I became assistant to Chiba Sensie from 1967 until 1971 during that time we were to appear on TV and BBC world radio, seminars and demonstrations.
Kenshiro Abbe Sensei 8th dan Judo
6th dan Karate – 6th dan Aikido – 6th dan Kendo – 6th dan JuKendo
1915 - 1985
Kenshiro Abbe Sensei first arrived in Britain in 1955 in response to an invitation by the London Judo Society ( LJS ). He was 8th Dan Judo. The youngest ever 5th Dan in Japan's Judo history, the youngest ever All Japan Judo Champion at 18 years of age, some 15 years later he would become the oldest All Japan Judo Champion at the age of 33 yrs. He was also graded in several other Martial Arts. Aikido 6th Dan – Karate 6th Dan – Kendo 6th Dan – Ju-Kendo 6th Dan – 6th Dan KyuDo. He was also accomplished with both the Yari and Naginata spears. During the second world war Abbe Sensei was an officer and responsible for the development and intstruction to the Imperial Army of ` Ju-Kendo ` the art of bayonet fighting.
Abbe Sensei introduced Aikido to Britain for the first time in 1955, first at the LJS and in the same year at the LJS Judo Championships 1955 at the Royal Albert Hall. Abbe Sensei was a direct student of O' Sensei Morihei Ueshiba who gave him his personal permission to teach Aikido in the UK.
A Change in my Career
As I sat and watched the only Aikido class in the UK in 1957. I was most impressed by this unusual but positive Martial Art, this was the first time I had seen a teacher wearing a hakama. I decided to join the Aikido section but also continue with the Judo class.
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During training a student had to attack centre at all times, if he attacked off centre he would be punished, if uke ever hit tori ( very often ) it was always considered tori’s fault. Photo: K Abbe far left in suit 1959.
Kenshiro Abbe Sensei was a regular visitor to the Hut Dojo where he would teach with a shinai ( bamboo sword ) he spoke very little English and rather than attempt a difficult explanation he would whack the offending arm or leg, one soon learned the correct movement. Abbe Sensei would say “ My English is bad, my shinai speaks English good “
In the 1950’s the techniques of Aikido did not have names, Abbe Sensei would say “ Necessary this technique “ or he would change the technique with “ Necessary “. It was not until Nakazono Sensei arrived that we were able to put names to techniques. It must have been odd for strangers to hear teachers of Aikido saying necessary this and necessary that. I remember one beginner asking Derek Eastman Sensei if he was Japanese, After practice in the pub he was surprised to hear Eastman Sensei had a London accent. It seems funny now but we all spoke with this abrupt pigeon English on the tatami.
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Tadashi Abe Sensei
I believe it was in 1959 that Tadashi Abe Sensie came over from France and taught he also attended an event with Kenshiro Abbe Sensie, he had a fearsome reputation which we soon learned was well deserved. Abe Sensei had trained during the war as a one man suicide pilot on a one man submarine. Chiba Sensei said that Tadashi Abe Sensei never got over the fact that the war ended before he had the chance to die for his country and Emperor. Tadashi Abe Sensei last visited the Aikikai in 1967 where he demanded the attention of all present, he was holding his diploma’s as he apologised to all the ladies present and stated “ This is not Aikido, this Aikido is for ladies only “ he then threw his diplomas on the tatami and walked out, he never ever returned again. Abe Sensei would carry a knife with him and he did not have to look for trouble as it always found him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when threatened he produce the knife and offer it to his opponent saying “ please for you !!“ . He would say that a man with just his fists was not a true challenge, a man with a knife was good for the spirit.
M Nakazono Sensei came to visit the Hut Dojo with an unexpected visitor in 1965/6 (?) a fearsome looking H Koybayashi Sensei, who had been sent by the Doshu K Ueshiba to visit and report back to the Aikikai on the standard and progress of Aikido in Europe . He sat on the tatami and never spoke or smiled, he gave each one of the dan grades a piercing stare before moving along the line. Nakazono Sensie sat back as if observing this from a distance. As I have already written, we only knew one way to attack an opponent and that was hard and always to centre, Kobayashi Sensei stood up and glowered at the dan grades and then suddenly pointed at one in particular and handed him a bokken and then indicated to attack him to the head ` shomen `….. The student did exactly that and cut to centre and to our shock and horror went straight to Kobayashi Sensei’s head, he blinked where as any other man would have collapsed, I immediately looked across at Nakazono Sensie and to my surprise he was not as shocked as we were, I am sure there was a hint of a slight smile as he was proud of his British students, I have often wondered if he had ever warned Kobayashi Sensei of our positive approach to Aikido. I would add that Kobayashi Sensei did not make any more mistakes after that.
Eric Dollimore came out from the changing room after removing his hakama, he stepped onto the tatami as the rest of the dan grades stopped to watch what was now happening. Eric and I squared up to each other as I decided to end it all very quickly for him with a fast punch to the head, as I punched he some how went under me and lifted me high and threw me into the dojo office wall which was about 2mt off the tatami, I did not just hit the wall I went straight through it, as I looked up amidst all the dust and rubble Ken Williams Sensei was sitting at his desk, he looked down at me and snarled “ Ellis! use the bloody door next time “. As if that was not humiliating enough ? the following Sunday morning when all the dan grades were practicing and later all in the pub, I was repairing the damaged Dojo office walls at my own expense.
Stumped
I think the biggest `lump` anyone ever received was when we had a fit young guy join us who had lost a leg in a motorcycle accident, he had an artificial wooden leg, in those days they were actually wood and solid, someone threw him hard and high and there was a scream as he hit another student across the head with his wooden leg, we honestly thought he was dead, he was taken to hospital but was released the next day. When he came back to the dojo he asked what had actually happened to him. It was explained that he had been hit on the head with a wooden leg,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he replied “ bloody hell ! It felt more like a tree “ After that the guy with the wooden leg had as much mat space as he wanted as everyone kept well clear of him.
Devises was the first seminar and now Aikido was becoming very well known with many of the dan grades taking small seminars wherever requested. Aikido owes a great deal to its early progress from the support of the Judo Clubs and teachers who would allow us to use a section of their tatami to teach a small class. I should add that although the Judoka were great in helping with the promotion of Aikido, they could also be some of the most difficult to teach, they would test our ability at every opportunity. If we had not been so strong and positive they would not have had any time for us.
In one area we were introduced to the head of a college who allowed us to demonstrate our Aikido and from there Aikido was now accepted into the Further Education system in the UK. This was an incredible breakthrough for the promotion and future of Aikido.
In one area there was one student who’s father had been working on the M1 motorway development ( Britain’s first motorway ) his father and crew had found several large urns of Roman Coins and he gave me a handful of these misshapen bronze coins which I would show just the one to the girls we met , I would tell them the coin had been in the family for hundreds of years and I would like for them to have it, that would often secure a bed and food for a few nights.
Masahilo Matsutaro Nakazono Sensei
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Which to my utter disgust would also include the full collusion of the `once` respected British Aikido Board ( BAB ). The disgraced BAB are sadly the governments officially recognised governing body for Aikido within the UK.
The BAB show no recognition or respect for the true history of Aikido within the UK. The previous chairman stated in the year 2000 “ We the British Aikido Board are not the custodians of British Aikido history, and therefore have no interest in the same !! “ Kenshiro Abbe Sensei would often say “ No matter your pretence, you are what you are and nothing more “ …….. So very true.
They joined together and created the “ British Judo Council “ ( BJC ) and the “ British Aikido Council “ ( BAC ) & “ British Kendo Council “ ( BKC ).
Kenshiro Abbe Sensie lived in the large home of the Otani family in Acton London. I would go there to either collect Sensei or take him somewhere. When I went into his room he would always have the window open winter or summer.
There would be various types of wild birds on the window sill and in the room,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they were so tame, as I walked in they took no notice of me, if Abbe Sensei left the room they would immediately all fly away.
A Very Serious Challenge
After one such session and later over a pint of beer, David Williams Sensei said to me “ Ellis, you think you can take me don’t you ? “ I replied “ No Sensei, I never think about it “ he was continuing in this manner for some time. I eventually said “ Sensei, this subject has never ever crossed my mind, but it would appear that it bothers you more than me “ this made him angry and he challenged me to go out into the car park.
David Williams was a vicious kind of man, we were now surrounded by other students and other drinkers. He was a teacher of Aikido – Karate and Judo, I knew this would be a difficult challenge for me.
He made various postures looking for an opening, while I just stood as relaxed as I could making small moves to avoid his various attacks, I have always been a very positive person and on this occasion I made one positive attack punching him in the head knocking him to the ground, I dropped on top him and immobilised him, he was unable to move, I asked “ Sensei, is that enough ? “ he replied “yes!” and I allowed him to get up,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as I released him he punched me in the nose, breaking it, there was a lot of blood as a result. He lost a great deal of respect after that and later left the Hut Dojo.
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Derek Eastman Sensei
Happy Christmas Harada Sensei
It was Christmas 1963 and Noro Sensei was visiting the Hut Dojo. Noro Sensei had commented on the attractive girls that I often had with me at the dojo before going out on the town. We had been discussing with Noro Sensei our arranged Christmas party. Noro Snsei said to me “ Mr Ellis you have many nice lady friends, necessary you find nice lady for Harada Sensie for the party tomorrow night “ I replied “ Sensei it is too late to organise something like that “ Noro replied “ The you must give him your lady friend “.
I quickly phoned my girl friend and asked if she could bring another friend, she explained that everyone had already made plans, I said to her that if she did not bring a friend then she had best stay at home, she was of course very upset, she phoned me later to say she had found someone. On the night of the party I walked into the hall with all the dan grades and Noro Sensie who asked immediately “ Where is lady for Harada “ I asked my girl friend who had just walked over to me “ Where is your friend for Harada ? “ she then pointed to a women sitting on the other side of the room who was hunched over with her elbows on her knees as if she had a hunch back.
It was suggested that it was non other than Quasimodo in drag. I looked down and saw that her legs were covered in more bandages than Tutankamoun . I could not believe my eyes as I looked across at Noro Sensei who looked as shocked as I was, Noro said “ Mr Ellis, If Harada sees this women he will kill you on the spot and I will join him “ . In anger I turned on my girlfriend and asked “ where did you get that from ?“ she replied that in desperation she had invited the office cleaning lady who said she would send her friend. Harada Sensei had now gathered that we were talking about him and asked what was going on, I had told Derek to go and sit with her which spoiled his Christmas. I then told Harada Sensei that Derek really liked and had a fetish for ugly women, they did not come any uglier than this one.
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The Real Thing
On some occasions we would split into two groups and head for the nearby forest, one group would be lead by K Williams Sensei and the other by his brother David. One group would set off and wait in ambush for the second group, they would jump out of bushes and drop down from branches and some real tough fighting took place. After all of this we would head for a nearby pub and count each others lumps over a pint of beer, It seems quite mad now but to be honest I loved it. In those days we trained so hard physically that this and Sunday mornings was a good way to let off steam.
Derek Eastman Sensei recalls his first visit with a friend to the Hut Dojo in 1958, as he walked into the dojo he was not really aware of what Judo or Aikido was, he walked in to see a guy in the centre of the mat with a blind fold on ( Henry Ellis ).
There were four other guys attacking him with shinai’s and bokkens. Derek’s friend said to him “ Stuff this I am off “ but Derek thought he would like to give it a try, that try has now lasted almost 50 years.
Ken Williams Sensei then suggested that Henry Ellis and Derek Eastman take one year out from work and travel the UK to spread the word of Aikido to a wider audience. I asked Williams Sensei “ Where shall we go ? “ he looked at me as if I was stupid and replied “ Where there is no Aikido of course “… This was quite a challenge and after much discussion it was agreed to do this. In 1963 I had a small Austin Mini car and we set off without a plan or a sense of real direction. We had in our joint pockets the grand sum of £20. Times were real hard back then. We headed north and went in a large circle of Britain lasting for 12 months. We knew of some Judo Dojos to call in to, other clubs we just stopped and introduced ourselves. Some made us welcome and some were not really interested. No one was able to pay us for teaching.
In late 1958 there was a new 16 year old student joined the Aikido section who was a natural at ukemi and Aikido. I took him after a few months to train as my own assistant. It became his job to get to the dojo early on a Sunday morning before practice and in the winter sweep the frost off the tatami, there was no heating in the Hut Dojo, it was like a large fridge, the only warmth was from three paraffin heaters in the changing rooms, the students would all leave their gi’s hanging from the ceiling beams. On a Sunday morning as Derek was sweeping a thick overnight frost from the mat I offered to light the three paraffin heaters, I did not know that you had to clean the wicks first.
Soon the dojo was filled with thick black smoke and it was thought the place was on fire. Derek quickly sorted out the heaters and when the smoke cleared all the hanging gi’s were covered in black soot. Mr Williams soon arrived and he went mad ( much worse than that ) he asked who was to blame ? I gave a nod in the direction of Derek who took all the flack as a good assistant should, he still moans about that to this day. All the dan grades were going to hammer him and worse, they were demanding new gi’s . Life is tough being an assistant (ukedeshi )
Kenshiro Abbe Sensei was now very unhappy with his situation at the LJC. He felt that some of the Judoka dan grades did not respect him. On the mat one time he lined up 31 senior Judoka, he then walked down the line telling each one what technique he would use to throw each of them, he then told each one whether the technique would be a left or right handed technique, he did exactly that, and beat every single dan grade just as he had stated. He later left the LJS.
Abbe Sensei had been in regular contact with Matsutaro Otani Sensei who had his own organisation.
If we were lucky we would get a bed and a meal with a teacher or student. We soon ran out of money and we would work for a few days to earn a little money to get by. As we arrived in a town or city we would try to chat up the local girls where ever we could,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they would often take us back to their homes for food, and if we were very lucky a night sleeping on the sofa, we would also chat up the girls mothers who like the daughters loved to hear the London accent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we became very good at this and it became an asset, these were desperate times and we often slept in the car which was a most unpleasant experience in the cold of Northern England. We took so many different jobs from ` building labourers – Painters – Photographers on a sea front – Assistants to a funeral director, where we would collect bodies from the morgue and take them to the chapel of rest. I was later caught in the Chapel of Rest with the directors daughter who I was laying to rest, although she was full of life, and the undertaker had caught us placing a coffin with an old lady in on the roof rack of the mini to pose for a photo.
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His daughter in the Chapel of Rest and the old lady in the coffin was just too much for the boss, that was the end of that job, we were now on the road again. We worked in the northern steel works - Road sweepers and wearing the British bowler hats which added to the fun. There were so many others too. We also worked on an old railway, it was a really horrible job, we called it the ` The Railway Death ` we did not stay there for long.
In 1951 at the age of 15 years I was just leaving school. I had already started a career at the age of 14yrs as a Time Trial racing cyclist, eventually becoming a club first team rider. At that time I could never imagine doing anything other than cycling and racing for the future.
That was until early 1956, when I visited a local Judo club in the London suburb of Hillingdon, ` The Abbe School of Budo ` the only reason I went was to encourage my then girlfriends younger brother to join. I was instantly attracted to Judo and I joined that same evening, the young boy lasted for about one month.
It was during the following year in 1957 that I saw the new Aikido class which was being taught by Ken Williams Sensei, who I later found to be the very first Aikido student in the UK of the legendary Budo master Kenshiro Abbe Sensei who was now resident in the UK and teaching at the Hut Dojo.
The class was very small and the training and discipline was extreme. I had been brought up by a very strict Victorian father so the discipline and tough regime did not deter me , in fact, it was probably the challenge that was the real attraction for me. Haydn Foster Sensei had just joined a few months before me and we are still good friends today.
The following article is based around what I personally consider the most interesting and formative years in the development of Aikido within the UK, from 1955, with the arrival of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei to the UK. Until eleven years later and my four years as assistant to Kazuo Chiba Sensei from 1967 and ending in 1971.
After this time Aikido became very fragmented with everyone wanting to start their own organisations, which resulted in masses of self-grading and silly undeserved titles. I do find the conduct of some of these self delusional and egotistical people extremely sad. These are people who would attempt to change our true and proud history and lineage to suit their own devious ends.
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Strengthening exercises help increase muscle strength. Strong muscles help to support the joints, making the joints more stable, and helping a person move more easily and with less pain. The two types of strengthening exercises are isometric and isotonic.

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I won’t get into what it means for me but you should think about what it means for you! Why, because I am here to tell you that you are about seven people away from living a life unlike anything you have ever dreamed. And those seven people are only seven people away, and so on and so forth! That is a Society! A society of individuals seeking one goal… Freedom & Wealth! My business is to Power Network with individuals to show them quick and easy steps to financial freedom! The hardest part any of you will have to do is find seven hungry individuals just like you to take the trip with us! Hey, you don’t even need to put up any money!! We will give you the money! But you must be ready to build a Pyramid!
Success & Nothing Less
Before I describe this focus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], allow me to present a scene. For Centuries now archeologists, historians, and architects alike have all been trying to figure out how the Great Pyramids were constructed. All of these great minds which concluded that it took 14 to 20 years to make one Pyramid, and the next, and so forth, when in fact if this were true then there would be more evidence of how it were done today if indeed it took decades as they say. Wouldn’t it be more evidence if it took almost a Century to construct all of the Egyptian Pyramids? While I don’t profess to know how they were constructed I will say the simplest answer is societal teamwork!
Our society is seeing the worst,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not one of the worst,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but THE WORST paradigm shift ever and few of us are ready to do anything about it. Why? Because we don’t trust one another! We trust our Televisions, or our Radios, or some News Anchor we never met before. But we don’t trust our brothers and sisters that we see daily. We don’t trust them enough to reach out and say “Hey brother/sister I have something we can do and it will work to make us both financially secure!” Such statements are met with skepticism and fear and often time resentment. Yet when you look at most Social Networking Posts there are numerous quotes on positivity and motivation. This signifies that we are indeed in search of something to hold on to.
By Cedric "C.F. Hutton" Farris
See all Articles by C.F. HuttonSee C.F. Hutton's Expert PageGet Updates on Business NetworkingGet Updates on C,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].F. Hutton Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (5 votes) Tweet
Think on that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! When you are ready… Give Me A Call! As always I wish you…
The world is becoming more amazing to me by the day! It seems as if people have lost their place within their own society and now must be told what to do when it comes to figuring out the pending financial crisis we are heading towards in this world. The funny thing is that it really isn’t a crisis. Crisis by definition, or at least to which I am referring is: An unstable condition, as in political, social, or economic affairs, involving an impending abrupt or decisive change. By definition we are heading for a crisis; however, by assessment we are not. These changes that are happening were inevitable and analysts have warned us for decades of the pending doom of our current economical state.
I watched an incredible movie last week called Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps starring Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Josh Brolin, and Frank Langella. In the movie one of the most amazing parts to me was when Frank Langella’s character commented on how the people were being fooled into thinking their dollar was no longer worth anything. (In fact the dollar hasn’t been worth anything since it was taken off the Gold Standard) What he was alluding to was the fact that the game was changing. He even said as much. He mentioned that this was not his game anymore and that people were being told the end is near and they are ready to believe it! This scene was very important as nothing could be truer for us. The Game is changing!
One person did not design them. It took a team of architects, laborers, and stone-makers just to design the concept of the Pyramid. What seemingly is glossed over in the assessment as to how they came to fruition should be as simple as the following statement… It took a Society to Construct the Pyramids! This is evidenced whenever you look at the ground and see ants creating their anthills. It is not just one Ant or a few teams of Ants or the ants that are slaves. The whole society is focused on one goal… to create something great! If you looked at the anthill and its complexity you would too think it would take a very long time to construct. But we know that isn’t true! One day there was nothing and in a couple of days a fully constructed anthill is ready to house the society of Ants.
You never really hear anything stated about a societal effort when they talk about the construction of the Great Pyramids. Usually the conversation regresses to the point that they were constructed merely from Slave Labor. But if you have common sense, you have to know it is true that it took a society to build the Pyramids! Racking your brain on what materials and the specifics on how such a feat was accomplished is really a moot point. Why? Because they exist! And we don’t need their technology to duplicate the feat because we have our own! Look at the Louvre Pyramid in France or the Luxor in Las Vegas. Shouldn’t these great minds contribute to fixing more pressing societal problems and not such trivial ones like How the Pyramids were constructed when the answer is clear?
I posted a status update on Facebook a while back that read “Never Ever think a Poor Person has No Wisdom! Character & Wisdom are not synonymous with a person’s Bank Account. Some of life’s greatest teachings I learned from Homeless People!” I posted this without stating what the teaching was so I will do it here. A homeless man told me years ago, that in this world “…You can’t trust anybody! But How Can You Survive If You Have No One to Trust?” He told me to think about that. And I did! I thought about it for years because I didn’t know what he meant. Now I do! It took him a few moments to say that but it took me a few years to absorb it!
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
I don’t want to go off into some Social Economic spew here, but I mentioned this to make a point. The only reason that people are running around like Chicken Little, is because they have no idea what to do! How do they get rich in a climate when it seems like more and more people are falling on their swords and allowing not only their homes, but their lives to be foreclosed on? Langella’s character was right! We are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as a society, willing to let the Media feed us the “Doomsday” scenario and it seems like we want it to happen! How about you? Do you want it to happen? Do you want solutions to avoid Doomsday? I will say this… The answer lies in your Focus!
The same point rings true in our current economic climate. Doesn’t the answer seem simple enough to you on how to amass wealth during this time in history? We should be coming together as we have always done,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to see ourselves through these times. Historically we bind together to create something great which can stand the test of time while leaving future generations to wonder at its beauty! And these will indeed be devastating times for quite a few people because nowadays the Ants need to be told they have to build an anthill! We don’t bind together instinctively as a society anymore! Sure we do so in tragic times, sparingly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but is this not a tragedy? What are your instincts telling you to do?
C. F.
I say by assessment because the Media would have you believe that, as Chicken Little used to say, “The Sky is Falling”,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when in fact the next big Economic Heist and Class System change is about to happen. This means that Rich People are about to become Very Rich! While in turn Poor People will become Very Poor! But there is nothing abrupt about this change however it is very decisive. It strategic in nature and will change a great many things. These changes we have been experiencing for a few years now. And, sadly, they will get worse! You don’t believe me? Check out Robert Kiyosaki’s Best Seller “Conspiracy of the Rich: 8 New Rules of Money”. However, even with these changes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it won’t stop you from getting rich if you truly are moving towards wealth.
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Strengthening exercises help increase muscle strength. Strong muscles help to support the joints, making the joints more stable, and helping a person move more easily and with less pain. The two types of strengthening exercises are isometric and isotonic.

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Now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because her life is very complicated, I have been extremely patient and generous with my time and money and have solved a number of crisis' for her. I have always been kind and gentle with her and I am of a non-violent and non-threatening nature. She says many times that when she is with me she feels totally "safe" and it's what attracted her to me in the first place. I recently drove 100 miles to rescue her, her boyfriend, his kid, her kid (both of which usually live out of state, but were here for the summer) and their dog from a campground at a local lake when their car blew up on the boat ramp. I then loaned her a $1000 to fix the car so she could get to work. On average I give her about $1100 a month to help her out and to compensate her for the time she spends with me as she usually blows off work to see me and isn't getting paid.
By Dr,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Dennis W. Neder
See all Articles by Dr. Dennis NederSee Dr. Dennis Neder's Expert PageGet Updates on DatingGet Updates on Dr. Dennis Neder Average: 2 Your rating: None Average: 2 (1 vote) Tweet
My girlfriend is in a 7 year committed relationship with a real loser. He mentally abuses her and hasn't had a job for 2 years and she just calls him "a work in progress" and apparently loves him very much. He has a felony conviction for cocaine possession and served 5 years. She works long hours and brings home the money and he buys pot with it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. He thinks I am just a good friend to her and doesn't know that she loves me and I love her.
1) This woman is a prostitute. That is what she is and what she does. Just because she only has one "client" (you) makes no difference.
My brother, I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this is the time you need to hear these things. This is the very first step on getting healthy again, and believe me: you are anything but healthy right now. You'll get there, but learning to accept these facts 100% is the very first step.
First, let me tell you this: I've heard this story - and been through it with many friends myself - many, many times. I know exactly what you're going through and even exactly how you feel. I'm going to help you here the best I can via email, but I strongly urge you to consider some personal coaching time as there's far more involved here than I can give you via email. You can get information on coaching from my website at:
4) She doesn't really give a shit about you, your life, your situation - only as far as how it affects her getting your money and support.
5) I don't care what she tells you or "shows" you or anything else. These points are exactly spot-on and you're going to have to come to grips with them.
Best regards...
2) This woman does NOT love you like you love her, and yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I noticed how you avoided using that term.
Now, here are the facts that you're going to have to come to grips with:
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
When I broke up with her, she was very upset and both of us cried and it was very emotional but she never said anything to indicate that she wanted to fight for me. So now I wish I hadn't done it, but it's too late. She said she'd pay me the $1000 as soon as she could, but I don't hold out much hope for anything.
The genuine joy and euphoria I feel when we are together are outweighed by the pain of her making it obvious that she just doesn't have the depth of feeling for me that I have for her. So I chose to end it and take the terrible pain all at once rather than die a little each time she blows me off. Now, I am so miserable, I just want to cry all day. I miss her terribly and don't know what to do.
Anyhow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she went on a 10 day trip without him (to take her kid back "home" to his father, who has custody) this last 2 weeks and I begged her to call me while she was gone so we could stay in touch. This has happened many times before. She never calls. Each time I have tried to tell her how much it hurts me to be taken so for granted and treated so casually. Of course she didn't call and I got totally blown out. She knows I will always be there for her when she gets back so, apparently, I'm just not important enough to think about when I'm not there. So, after numerous broken dates and no calls and very little apology, when I saw her two days ago, I told her that I just couldn't take the stress of feeling like she never thinks of me when we are not together. She had no trouble calling me when she was in trouble, but has never called or emailed just to say she was thinking of me. So I told her that I couldn't see her any more.
The minute you dumped her, she began thinking about the next guy she could seduce in order to keep her income going. This is a business to her - that's all. She feels NOTHING, NADA, ZIP. You are bearing the brunt of all of this by yourself - she's already over you.
Dr Neder,
Sorry this was so long,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I know you are busy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but this is the first love crisis I've had in 35 years and I'm a little out of practice. I just don't know how to cope with it.
==============
Hello!
So here's the problem (as if there aren't enough problems already?) As I told you, I usually see her about twice a week. Sometimes, we have a date scheduled and something in her life makes her very late or not show up at all. She rarely calls me to say she can't make it and let's me hang for days before calling to make a new date. I can't call her because the boyfriend would get suspicious if I called her at home and she can't receive calls at work. When she does call, she often calls from work. Even when nothing is going wrong she makes me wait one to three hours past the time she said she'd be there. Often she shows up and says she had to run a few errands or make dinner or take a shower, all stuff that she could have planned better.
About 1 1/2 years ago,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I met a very cute and sweet 28 year old girl (I’m in my 50’s) and we began conversations, went on a few "dates" and began a relationship that has lasted until the day before yesterday. This relationship was carried on about twice a week for a few hours each time and included, as of late,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], some very intimate times, but not actual regular sex; lots of kissing, touching and rubbing, but never naked - we always wear underwear. When ever we are together she has the power to make me feel as if I am the only other person on the planet. She is incredibly intense and very physical and makes sure to be in physical contact with me all the time we are together. If we go out to dinner, she wraps an arm or leg with me for the whole time we are at the table and never lets go of me.
At first she spelled out a ton of rules about things she wouldn't or couldn't do with and for me and has, over time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], systematically broken every one of them. I have never pressured her for actual sex, because I know it would make her very uncomfortable and I'm actually very happy with the high level of physical intimacy that we do have. One time she told me that she kisses me more often than her boyfriend. It seemed to bother her a little but not enough to decrease it any.
3) The only reason that she spends any time with you is because you pay her and solve her problems for her.
I read on a website that you try to answer your email and I'm begging for some of your expert advice please. I am in serous need of some help because a girl I had really strong feelings for and with whom I've had a very close relationship and I have just had a crisis.
Tom, I know you don't want to hear any of this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but let me be absolutely frank here: you've been used, taken, had. The feelings that you have for her are absolutely NOT returned to you in any way. Until you wake up and get out of this love-induced cloud you're in, you're never going to get through this and heal. Trust me on this - I know what I'm talking about.
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Strengthening exercises help increase muscle strength. Strong muscles help to support the joints, making the joints more stable, and helping a person move more easily and with less pain. The two types of strengthening exercises are isometric and isotonic.

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To date the FDA has done nothing about the early age at which American children are being exposed to numerous harmful substances nor about the consequences of these chemicals on pregnant mothers and their fetuses.
A child’s health is as precious as gold and must be protected in the most important arena of survival – the food,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], liquids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], vitamins and minerals they ingest.
By Emanuel Barling, Jr., Esq. and Ashley F. Brooks, R.N.
See all Articles by Emanuel Barling, Jr.See Emanuel Barling, Jr.'s Expert PageGet Updates on Health EducationGet Updates on Emanuel Barling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Jr. Average: 3.25 Your rating: None Average: 3.3 (4 votes) Tweet
Mr. Goodspeed goes on to state, “Given the vulnerability of the developing brain in infancy, one can’t help but wonder if children are being permanently impaired by early exposure to the chemicals.... “
The causes of food cravings, overeating, addiction, delayed food intolerance in newborns, infants and toddlers is the dangerous addictive chemicals used by food manufacturers. These chemicals are used by food manufacturers in baby food to cause the compulsive/obsessive eating that leads to obesity.
For example, in his book,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], The End of Overeating, former FDA commissioner David Kessler charges food companies with deliberately manipulating the chemical composition of their products to make them addictive to people with vulnerable brain chemistries – i.e., children. Other experts believe that food additives have contributed to the rise in attention deficit disorders in both children and adults.
It is vital for the health of the fetus that a pregnant woman eat a chemical-free organic diet. Once on an organic diet the mother should never return to the well of fast food and packaged food addiction after the child is born.
Many scientists suggest that chemicals in food are the principal cause of childhood learning disabilities.
American children did not get fat overnight nor did some mosquito spread a deadly virus that causes childhood obesity. Eating until becoming obese is now the leader in American addictions surpassing cigarettes and alcohol.
Food colorings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], MSG,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pesticides, factory farmed meats,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], genetically modified fruits and vegetables and other additives have been linked to a range of health problems in children including allergic reactions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], headaches,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], asthma, growth retardation and hyperactivity.
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All packaged baby food contains MSG unless labeled “organic”. According to Michael Goodspeed in his article, MSG In Baby Food - It Doesn’t Get Any Worse Than This,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “In the second half of the twentieth-century,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the United States of America experienced a dramatic, unprecedented increase in neurologic and psychiatric illness among its young people.”
According to the CDC, this rate is on the rise in the U.S. and has almost tripled in the last three decades. In the 1950s, it was rare to find an overweight child in any school system. It just wasn’t tolerated. Today, the school yard is filled with them.
American obesity rates are the highest in the world. Sixty-eight percent of adults are categorized as overweight, one-third of them are diagnosed as clinically obese. There are nearly 7 million overweight and obese children in the U.S. today. Childhood obesity statistics show that obese children have a 70% chance of becoming obese adults. The percentage increases to 80% if either one or both parents is obese as well.
The list of childhood maladies arising from these additives grows with each independent research study.
If an expectant mother eats addictive foods and ingredients regularly, there is a 99% certainty her offspring will suffer from food addiction, cravings and possible childhood illness and disease. Food addiction starts in vitro.
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Strengthening exercises help increase muscle strength. Strong muscles help to support the joints, making the joints more stable, and helping a person move more easily and with less pain. The two types of strengthening exercises are isometric and isotonic.

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The best way to keep yourself from making contact is to keep yourself busy. Do anything to keep yourself from smothering him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to remain mysterious. The chances of getting him to make the first move are high,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you stick to the no contact part of the plan.
He will begin to wonder what you are up to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what you are thinking and feeling because he is no longer sure. This step of the plan gets your ex boyfriend into the position needed for him to start to miss you.
If you are wondering "how to get back together with my ex boyfriend", then the first thing you need to do is to stop calling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], emailing and texting him. Don't push him any further away than he already is by leaving him be and following this strategy instead. A strategic approach is needed now to make him want to come back.
To begin with, reading this article will mean that you want to improve your chances of getting him back and it is assumed that you are ready to save your relationship. Being aware of how you are feeling is imperitive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially if you feel anxious as this can make you behave in a certain way to push your ex away.
If you think your actions only push your ex further away,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you need to keep reading. Your situation is far from being hopeless but you must be sure that this is the guy for you. Try using some of the following tips to make your path to getting back together that much easier.
While you are putting the first step into practise,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keep in mind that you are working with human nature and this will work in your favor, rather than against it. This plan will give your ex boyfriend the chance to miss you and then remember what he loved about being with you.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
The first step is to have no contact with your ex at all. For this period of time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], focus on yourself and what you can do to improve your own life. This is by far the hardest step of this strategy but you will need to stick to the plan to see any results later on.
By Casey Wright
See all Articles by Karyn DaviesGet Updates on DatingGet Updates on Karyn Davies Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Your boyfriend will be pulling away as a natural instinct to this type of pressure. You must work alongside human nature to get him back,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don't try to fight it. Constantly calling your ex will make him pull away and trying to make him feel sorry for you won't help either.
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Strengthening exercises help increase muscle strength. Strong muscles help to support the joints, making the joints more stable, and helping a person move more easily and with less pain. The two types of strengthening exercises are isometric and isotonic.